Contemplative Prayer

Dear Guests

2010-03-12T17:30:08Z

Welcome to March!

I have never been so happy to see signs of spring. Forgive my whining for a moment--but I am sick to death of snow! There remains at least two feet of snow piled up on my deck and it is very likely we will get a spring snow storm, but I did seethe sun for most of the day today and I heard some birds!

Lots of new things this month on our blog--some book reviews by Joanne Bennardo. Her book reviews are great and I highly recommend some of the books she reads and recommends.

I want to thank Laura Westropp of Chentini Gallery in Chagrin Falls. She is the Gallery owner and has given me an opportunity for myvery first gallery show on Sat. March 20th. The four paintings are depictions of stained glass windows and are posted on our blog.

I shared my experience of attending our winning basketball team here in Cleveland in my March journal reflection. I don't think our grown son is happy that I loved the Cavs game so much, because he usually got to go to the games with his Dad and now I am trying to get the other ticket for the games! You might think it is unusual to be talking about basketball on a prayer blog, but I think good basketball is a kind of prayer.

Also check out our ministry site (www.themuteswan.org) we are busy adding new spring gift items, new prayer cards, some great links to other non-profit sites, info on our newest outreach program "A Beautiful Mind" (for young adults struggling with addiction and emotional and mental disorders), and we will soon have a Spanish translation for the entire site.

Wishing each of you a celebration of hope in the coming spring months.

Blessings of beauty,

Debra

If you're really listening
If you're awake to the poignant beauty of the world,
your heart breaks regularly.
In fact, your heart is made to break,
it's purpose is to burst open again and again
so that it can hold evermore wonder.
—Andrew Harvey

March Journal - Gifted Focus

2010-03-12T17:22:00Z

The third quarter had them suddenly trailing, taking away the lead they had maintained throughout the first half. The energy seemed to have gone out of the arena--it was too quiet. At half court Lebron James got the ball and I glanced up at the big screen above the court for a close up of his face. There it was--the fire, the single mindedness, the focus. His black eyes piercing, he moved his massive frame like a ballerina, swiftly down the court. The ball was a part of him as he was a part of the entire arena, he weaved and flowed around the bodies, pivoted and lifted, his body and the ball moving in a poetic arch as the ball swooshed through the basket. All the sweat and sinewy muscles of his 6 foot, 8 inch frame was in constant movement with the grace of a dancer. LeBrone's God given gift of athletic prowess has been honed to exquisite perfection through countless hours of practice and focus.

I sat in the Q-Arena, cajoled by my husband to attend the game. I had resisted leaving the house, my energy doused by the endless grey winter days, yet my husband had insisted that I go to the game saying, "I promise you will enjoy it." So in an arena of thousands of screaming fans, I sat hunched down in my black coat and my morose mood. The energy of, not only LeBrone, but the workings and energy of the entire team began to seep into me and by the second half I was standing up and yelling like any other crazy Cleveland Cavs fan.

To become a contemplative one must develop the spiritual eye of attention, a deep seeing, seeing into the life of things, hoping for a divine glimpse.

Twentieth century

French mystic and philosopher Simone Weil wrote, "The beauty of the world is Christ's tender smile for us coming through matter. He is really present in the universal beauty. The love of this beauty proceeds from God dwelling in our souls and goes out to God present in the universe. It also is like a sacrament." *

I would add that the beauty of the world is Christ's smile for us whenever we see the life force, the energy and focus, the gifts of what constitutes our humanity. There are those rare individuals who are blessed with exceptional gifts and motivation and it is beautiful to behold their expression, like seeing a prayer on a basketball court. But God's myriad expressions and unique manifestations of each of our gifts exist in every one of us. God knew each of us before we were created in our mother's womb (Jeremiah) and our prayer is the focus on this beauty within that proceeds from God dwelling in our souls, as we send it out into the universe. Living our lives with simple beauty, truth and goodness, this too is like a sacrament.

Theologian John Navone writes, "Beauty is at the heart of all human motivation. True beauty as the attractiveness of the truly good motivates human life and development in that intellectual, moral and religious self-transcendence that constitutes human authenticity or excellence. Without our experiencing the attractiveness or beauty of intellectual, moral and religious good, such goods are bereft of the their power to transform our lives. Beauty is the enabling power of the truly good to draw us out of ourselves for the achievement of excellence." *

It has perhaps become more rare in our fragmented, chaotic, ADD world to see such quiet focus, but when you see a single mindedness focus you marvel at its beauty--it is a kind of prayer expressed with gratitude and grace. Only a week before the Cavs game I had watched a different form of that focus in a very different setting. In the silence of a monastery in the middle of Kentucky I watched, mostly old men, file into pews to chant prayers five times a day. Their lives reflected the beauty of this single focus, day after day, year after year, decade after decade they prayed, until its simple focus of beauty illuminated the essence of their lives.

Each of our lives and the gifts we are given are a focus, whether it is the simplicity of silent prayers, or the intensity of an athletic gift honed to the perfection of exquisite beauty of a basketball swooshing through the hoop in front of thousands of fans. We get off track when we think it is simply "I" or the focus is on the "I" feeling good, which is often translated into a focus for the next sexual encounter, the next drug high, the next power surge, the next big deal. Strip away the disjointed reasons, our fragmented desires and answer the holy longing of life. Sing praises for the gift of your life and the truly good. That is something truly beautiful to behold.

*Waldron, Robert. Thomas Merton: Master of Attention. (NY: Paulist Press, 2008).

Parable III, Trapped Beauty

2010-03-12T17:09:00Z

One day I was walking through an open field and in the distance my eye caught sight of something in the pasture grass, some movements. As I approached nearer and nearer I noticed a great, big monarch butterfly fluttering its wings frantically. It was caught, but the sad and strange part about it was that its beauty -- its wings -- were holding it down, captive. Three long strands of grass loosely connected at the top enclosed it, but because the wings were so huge these three tee-pee forming blades of grass were enough to keep the butterfly from escaping into the open spaces and using its most beautiful attributes. If it would only calm down and slowly walk away from this very loosely knit cage it could fly away forever and be free.
Calm down, butterfly.
It is your beauty that is keeping you captive,
your beautiful large wings.
Calm down...and walk away...then fly, fly, fly ...

----- written on July 13,1986 by the late Ray Desgroseilliers, sj

Scripture and Paintings by Debra Classen

2010-03-08T15:54:00Z

Presence

Woman at the Well

Jesus, tired from his journey, sat down there at the well. It wasabout noon. A woman of Samariacame to draw water, Jesus said to her, "Give me a drink." Hisdisciples had gone into the town to buy food. The Samaritan woman said to him,"How can you a Jew, ask me, a Samaritan woman for a drink? Jesusanswered and said to her, "If you knew the gift of God and who is saying toyou, 'Give me a drink, you would have asked him and he would have given you living water.' John 4:6-10

Faith Not Fear

Mary and Donkey

When they had departed, behold, the angel of the Lord appeared to Joseph in adream and said, 'Rise, take the child and his mother, flee to Egypt, and staythere until I tell you, Herod is going to search for the child to destroyhim." Joseph rose and took the child and his mother by night and departedfor Egypt. Matthew 2:13-14

Healing Trust

Woman touching the hem of Christ's Garment

There was a woman afflicted with hemorrhages for twelve years. Shehad suffered greatly at the hands of many doctors and had spent all that shehad. Yet she was not helped but only grew worse. She had heard about Jesus andcame up behind him in the crowd and touched his cloak. She said, "If I buttouch his clothes, I shall be cured." Mark 5:25-28

Messengers of Beauty

The Angels; St. Michael, Guardian Angel with child, St. Gabriel

In the sixth month, the angel Gabriel was sent from God to atown of Galilee called Nazareth, to a virgin betrothed to a mannamed Joseph, of the houseof David, and the virgin's name was Mary... Then the angel said toher, "Do not be afraid, Mary, for you have found favor with God..."

Luke 1:26-30

All paintings availble for sale, painted by Debra Classen in the stained glass style. All proceeds go to supporting The Mute Swan Ministries. For more information contact Debra Classen at debraclassen@aol.com

First Sunday in Lent, Homily by Father Michael Denk

2010-02-22T00:40:00Z

Father Michael Denk is the associate pastor at St. Barnabus Parish in Northfield, Ohio and on the board for "The Mute Swan Ministry". Father Michael is also an artist and his beautiful prayer medal can be seen on our ministry web site:

www.themuteswan.org/gifts .

The following is his homily for the first Sunday in Lent.

I have a really good friend that has been a big support in my life and he’s done something that has really hurt and disappointed me. I’m feeling a great deal of sadness, loss, and abandonment. I’ve tried to do everything I could for him and for our friendship, but he chose not to take the help and the resources that were offered to him. He’s also chosen not to change the behaviors that are hurtful. And so without one of the greatest support people in my life I find myself once more in the desert. It certainly isn’t my will; I don’t know that it is God’s either. But he permits it. So though I don’t want to do this, though I may not be ready for lent, I’m in the desert.

Jesus was led into the desert to be tempted by the devil. He fasted for forty days and forty nights and when it was over he was HUNGRY. He had a need that was unfulfilled and Satan attacked him right there.

The devil said to him,
“If you are the Son of God,
command this stone to become bread.”

Jesus answered him,
“It is written, One does not live on bread alone.”

I guess I’ve been tempted by Satan’s IF. If only I can change him. If only he could see what he was doing. If only he could do it another way. If only… If only…

I’ve tried to help him to be bread, but he’s chosen to remain a stone. And so now I must realize that man does not live on bread alone. As much as I have this need and hunger for this friendship, I do not live by this friendship alone.

Maybe you’re experiencing a real hunger right now, a real need to be fed or nourished or loved and you find yourself coming up at a loss. You’ve tried to do everything you can to change your situation, but the stone remains a stone. And like it or not you’ve been led into the desert. Lent is here whether you’re ready or not.

So during this time you will experience emptiness and hunger, you will be tempted to try and control, manipulate, or over power. You may be tempted to try to change something that doesn’t need to change. And through it all, in our absolute hunger and emptiness, we will discover the word of God, the bread of Life. He does feed us. He does sustain me. He does feed you with his word and sacrament. You may feel hungry but you are not unfed. You may lose the feeling of being loved, but you are not unloved. Do not give into the voice of the enemy that says “If you do this, or If you change this, or if you stop this…then you will be fed.” There’s no need for the IF. You are fed, you are loved, and you are blessed. Don’t buy the lie that you are not. Man does not live by bread alone, but by every word that comes from the mouth of God.

"Time spent in prayer is never wasted,

however urgent the duties that press upon us from every side".

taken from a recent address of Pope Benedict XVI

The Beauty of the Sun and the Son

2010-02-14T01:44:00Z

The month of February began here on the north short with another arctic blast moving across our Great Lake and dumping over eight inches of snow in a twenty-four hour period.

Having moved to Cleveland from the west coast I have adjusted over these many years to the extreme geographical and weather changes. But quite suddenly it seems, my thirtieth winter in this climate—I ‘unadjusted’. By the end of January I was feeling pummeled by endless gray, cold days. Like a bear I ate as winter intruded and then just wanted to curl up and sleep until spring and the daffodils would arrive.

Mankind has known and worshiped the effects of the sun throughout civilization. Sun gods were worshipped in ancient times. For the Greeks and Romans, Incas, Aztecs, and Egyptians knew the sun’s healing effects, psychologically, physically and spiritually.

Throughout the ages the ritualistic, and later modern day scientific benefits have influenced “doctors and healers; the athletes and warriors; the scientist and artists of all civilizations and they were not naively interested in the sun as a supplement to their various interests, but rather, were deeply aware of the sun as a central factor in their existence and in their well being physically & mentally.”*

It doesn’t matter where you live in the world, the sun influences our moods, activities, crops, seasons, and our health. A day of sunlight can bring happiness. After last week’s snowfall, and last month’s darkness I woke up to the sun’s beautiful rays brightly reflecting off snow laden branches. The temperatures were only in the twenties, but out I went and for the first few minutes stood like an underground mole blindly blinking in the glorious light, my spirits lifted.

Today, we are beginning to understand from scientific studies how really important the effects of sunlight are on our mental and physical health. Sunlight contributes to our total health and happiness.

In the mid-eighties we begin to understand a psychological disorder, the symptoms increasing as light decreases. Season affective disorder (or S.A.D.) is a type of depression that typically occurs each year as the days grow shorter in the fall and winter and sunlight decreases. Some people react adversely to this decreasing amount of light and the symptoms become most intense during the darkest months and don’t lift until spring. There is light treatment (phototherapy) for those who suffer.

What I find fascinating about all this discussion of sunlight and its effects is its relationship to beauty. Light, radiance, doxa, claritas—are the theological terms used to define a component of ‘beauty’--light. Christ came to be a light in our dark world announcing that ‘I am the light of the world.” (John 8:12).

Beauty shines through the elegance of form and every artist knows this. Surely the Divine Artist created His masterpiece for humanity when the light of the world was shining through the elegance of human form in His Son. The Gospels are a literary masterpiece describing the accounts of simple fishermen who witnessed Christ’s life of self-sacrificing love and obedience to the Father, revealed in brilliance and splendor.

Never before in our history has there been such an opportunity for the layman and the public in general to understand the scientific ways in which we can benefit from ‘light’. In this difficult economic times we now even turn to solar power, a free source of life giving energy helps us to create a healthy body, mind, economy. Yet there are more "life-giving" rays than sunlight.

Radiance is much more than the physical light, more than winter cloud cover scattering and the illumination of the sun’s rays on the earth. Lack of illumination –the darkening of a mind, the shadows on a faith, a dark night of the soul—this darkness may be far more detrimental to our souls and spirits and what of our eternal souls? The Saints knew this. St. Albert the Great associated beauty with goodness in a moral sense and connected it with an illumination of truth and wisdom as the source of light and form.

Light was an early Christian symbol for divine beauty and for the splendor of the divine glory. A vision shaped by beauty becomes a radiant life in the context of faith. Mother Teresa exemplified this as she looked into the faces of the sick and the dying on the streets of Calcutta and saw the face of Christ in the faces of leapers, the hungry, the poor, the naked, the dying, she reflected the loved of Christ.

Twentieth century Swiss theologian Hans Urs von Balthasar explains the elements of theological aesthetics as “light radiating form”. It is the perception of His glory, which leads to our salvation.“The light is the ground of our experience of rapture, the experience by which the observer is seized by beauty and drawn into its dazzling radiance.” Light enters our perception and illuminates truth. Today we still use the divine Words of “light from light” in the creed of Nicea repeated in the liturgy. The Bible conveys God’s presence by the symbol of light.

Certainly God’s glory shines out in the beauty and order of creation, “the heavens declare the glory of God.” (Psalm 19:1). God created light on the first day of Creation and it is revealed in our lives each day with a new dawn. Throughout our lives and throughout history God gives each of us glimpses of His divine glory.

Christ reveals the ultimate divine glory because He is the truth of God, the light and way to God. This glory is most fully revealed in Christ. He is “the Lord of glory” (1 Corin. 2:8)

The Saints know that we have an inherent responsibility as men and women of faith to illuminate all that is true, good and beautiful in this world. Having glimpsed the beauty of Christ the Saints reflect a measure of that beauty, we pray that our lives too can reflect some of that beauty. Beauty opens out its radiance when it shines through the human heart in love that illuminates.

The Saints lives reflect God’s splendor, a hushed dignity bequeathed by lives of contemplative prayer. Prayer is the way in which we too, may lift ourselves towards the light and illumine the dark recesses of our humanness. Prayer is the way in which we learn to surrender the dark fragments to God to make us whole, to make us healthy, and to make us beautiful through Christ.

Winter Silence - God's Gift by Louise Hess

2010-02-07T02:51:00Z

How silent, how still the cold crisp air
As snow, newly fallen gently caresses my uplifted face
And I cease all thought to simply
Drink in, in the silence of this night, the wonder
Of your unconditional love, O God, your unfailing presence.

As I tread through newly fallen, untouched snow,
Gaze at trees now barren yet bravely standing
Tall, unwilling to let winter have its way
Providing shelter to nestling squirrels, winter birds,
While still holding the promise of rebirth within their snow laden branches.
Winter, winter, how beautiful your stillness, your silence,
O God, as we leave behind a year filled with blessings:
Joys and sorrows, unfulfilled hopes and dreams;
We welcome this new year with joy and with anticipation
That your will be done on earth as in heaven,
That all who hunger may be filled,
That all who have nowhere to lay their head may find shelter
That all who live in fear may be reassured, may know your justice and mercy;
That all who live in pain may be held in the palm of your hand and know your love;
And lastly, O God, I pray that I might be a part of it all.

Amen

"Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere" Martin Luther King

The Grace and Beauty of a Harp

2010-02-07T02:16:00Z

On a cold winter day I received an email that was vibrating with enthusiasm. The email was sent with an attached photo of a mute swan painted upon a harp named "Grace" from California. Sarah Schwartz is a certified therapeutic harpist and cellist. She and her harp partner, Melanie Brown, play beautiful, soothing music for patients, staff and visitors at Marymount and Medina Hospitals and Holy Family Hospice here in NE Ohio. As a performing duo, they are known as "Vessel Of Light". Melanie and Sarah see the harp as this vessel, and also every person that they play for. They are graduates of the International Harp Therapy Program based at the Hospice of San Diego and also graduates of the Sacred Art of Living and Dying Program under the direction of Richard Groves of Bend, OR.

Sarah had come across one of the ministry prayer cards and wrote to tell me about her work with Melanie: which is to bring the sound of hope, peace, beauty, and love to people in hospice and hospital settings. Both St. Francis and Mother Theresa are two people whose lives, words and deeds inspired their desire to serve people through the healing power of sound on an instrument that unites the spiritual realm with the physical: "On Earth As It Is In Heaven" as they tell their listeners.

Sarah related a story to me from the mid 90's when she was a hospice volunteer. One day she was having lunch with an elderly female patient who lived on a farm. As they broke bread together, Sarah suddenly saw in her mind's eye a forested pool. Into it glided a beautiful swan who then lifted its wings heavenward. Her husband, a Lutheran pastor,

commented to her when she arrived home, that perhaps she had seen the patient's soul, for that is what the patient had been sharing with her. To outward appearances this woman had lived a hard life without many worldly comforts. Yet Sarah was struck by the beauty that was hidden beneath the outer covering. People are not always what they appear to be. She thought of the words of Jesus, "As you do this to the least of these, my brethren, you do it unto Me." Shortly thereafter the patient completed her earthy life and died.

On a bitterly cold day I met Sarah and Melanie and as they shared their story. I was deeply touched to learn of this unique and compassionate ministry. We all have grown children and are fair-haired, but these two women belied their age as they glowed with radiant beauty. I felt I had met two angels. They feel they are quite human and understand it is the power the instrument carries that causes people to project an image of angels upon them.The harp is deeply rooted in the human psyche, 5,500 years old and originated in Africa. It was played for the Pharaohs Egypt and from there traveled to the Hebrews and the Greeks. They feel blessed to be able to carry the sound of peace and beauty to people in physical, emotional and spiritual pain. Beauty is healing.

You can read more about Harp Therapy, stories and quotes from those who have experienced it and purchase their harp CDs at their web site: www.HarpVesselOfLight.com

Our 'hope and healing' ministry will also include a CD of their soothing harp music in our gift baskets for cancer patients in 2010.

The Way of Love Prayer

2010-02-07T02:04:00Z

You Lord are Love.

Teach me how to love whom my heart loves.

Show me how to trust the embrace of Your mysterious ways,

In a faith that moves mountains,

In a vision that sees the beauty of love.

Let me hear Your voice in the silence,

for Your voice is sweet and You are lovely.

The winter is past, the rains are over and gone.

Harden not my heart.

Let love grow in humble soil,

Sowing the seeds of patience and kindness.

Prune any envy or boastfulness, arrogance or rudeness within me.

Allow love to grow without insistence on my own way, without irritableness or resentment.

Your love does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but always rejoices in the sunlight of truth.

It is with You God that love bears all things, believes in all things,

hopes for impossible things and endure all things.

Flourish my garden with faith, hope and love as a lily among thorns;

the fragrant bloom is always Your abiding love.

Ah, you are beautiful, my beloved.

Amen

(Based on Song of Songs and 1 Corinthians 13 Scripture)

Finding Sanctuary: Monastic Steps for Everyday Life by Abbot Christopher Jamison

2010-02-02T15:00:00Z

Finding Sanctuary: Monastic Steps for Everyday Life by Abbot Christopher Jamison

In May, 2005, BBC TV first aired a series entitled, “The Monastery.” It followed the day-to-day challenges of five ordinary men living among the monks of Worth Abbey, England.

For forty days and forty nights, the men exchanged their commonplace day-to-day lives for St. Benedict’s sixth century Monastic Rule. Viewers were surprised to discover that the cloistered monks were very practiced in responding to contemporary needs, not in spite of their Benedictine spirituality, but because of it.

Abbot Jamison was asked to compile a book outlining Benedict’s Rule due largely to the great success of the television series. Worth Abbey was overwhelmed with retreat requests and prayer inquiries. This astounding interest confirmed for the Abbot that “our founder, St. Benedict, still has lots to say to people today.”

Finding Sanctuary expands on the prime Benedictine virtues of silence, obedience, and humility to include contemplation, community, spirituality, and hope. Monastic life “reshaped the hearts and minds” of the five men. They learned to speak to God from their hearts and ask His intent for their lives. God’s answer came in their understanding to “profoundly listen.”

Jamison explains, “Real delight in life comes from the acceptance of realities other than one’s own—the reality of the other person’s needs and the reality that some things should be accepted as they are.” We are all invited to pray—speaking to God as friend—that we, too, will hear His invitation of love, peace, and sanctuary.

Author’s bio: Joanne Bennardo writes from Ohio.

Behold the Beauty of the Lord: Praying with Icons by Henri J. M. Nouwen

2010-02-02T14:44:00Z

Behold the Beauty of the Lord; Praying with Icons by Henri J.M. Nouwen

Henri Nouwen, in his gracious writing style, invites us to pray with him as he meditates on four of his favorite icons. He begins by explaining the rudimentary difference between art, for art sake, and icons. The latter are inspired through prayer, for prayer.

This symbolic, yet artistic, form of preaching the gospels can be traced back to the fourth century. However, it was between the twelfth and sixteen centuries that iconography made its impact within Byzantine spirituality.

As spiritual tour-guide, Nouwen divides this prayer companion book into four chapters, one for each icon. There is also a convenient flip-out photo of each icon to view while reading.

Previous to praying before an icon, Nouwen urges us first to“listen” and then to “gaze.” Nouwen instructs, “The words in this book come from my own gazing at these icons.” Through his “gaze,” he offers a bounty of suggestions in which the icons “will begin to speak of the unique way in which God has chosen to love you.”

For example, in the icon, “The Savior of Zvenigorod,” Nouwen describes the symbolic relationship of color to theology. Nouwen explains Jesus’ blue colored cloak to be representative of His humanity, inviting us to focus on His dual nature. As human, He “warns us against our inclination to destroy,” but as divine, He embraces us with “love [that] is stronger.”

Henry Nouwen’s observations affirm God’s message of love and compassion for His children—manifest through Nouwen’s gifted words and the beauty of the ancient icons.

Author’s bio: Joanne Bennardo writes from Ohio.

The Mute Swan Outreach Update

2010-01-08T15:16:00Z

Health and healing-Right now our ministry prayer cards are at two of the Cleveland Clinic Hospitals in the Cleveland area and we hope to have them downtown this year. The cards are given to patients and their families, and health care providers --offering spiritual comfort and beauty during difficult times. At the end of the year we will expand our ministry Christmas baskets to about fifty or more baskets as part of the "Myriam Project" for a friend's mother who has cancer. We also will be working with a beautiful young woman and school teacher, Francesca DiFiore, who helped out this year with a financial contribution and a special delivery of a basket. This year she will be an even bigger part of the project as we begin preparing the baskets in the fall, and she remembers her mother, Debbie DiFiore, who died from breast cancer.

Prison Ministry-We began the donation of Christmas cards and mother's day cards at the end of 2008, with a miraculous story of forgiveness working in my life and a letter from Sing Sing Prison on the same day. Padre Ron has been instrumental in getting those cards out to the prisoners to send home to their families. The project not only places God's beauty in a place devoid of beauty, but gives the prisoners an opportunity to write home to their loved ones touching hurting family members who suffer shame and loneliness when a loved one is incarcerated. This project will be expanded to a second prison Padre Ron ministers at in New York.

Religious Education-Retreats and workshops on discovering God's beauty in places of darkness of suffering is an important part of our outreach. Last November I gave a3 day retreat in Kentucky and I was truly the one blessed by the wonderful participants that attended. 2010 will include speaking in California, Kentucky, Ohio and (hopefully) Texas to religious communities, civic groups, schools, and retreat centers.Please check our web site if you are interested in a speaker for your next occasion. A stipend to the ministry is requested.

Prayers-This is perhaps the heart of this ministry. Thanks to Lynn's idea and expertise we began our prayer request site in 2009.We currently have 12 volunteers who prayer for the requests coming in. If you have a prayer request let us know and you will be put on our prayer request site. If you can volunteer to pray daily for the requests please let us know. Gift cards along with a prayer card will also be available this year, to be sent out from our ministry in your name.

Disappointments and God by Debra Classen

2010-01-07T16:08:00Z

My sister went out to California to see my Dad on Christmas. She called me after Christmas chatting on her cell phone outside in seventy degree weather. I answered from inside my igloo in Ohio, looking out at my deck with three feet of snow on the ground and more on the way. The heavy icicles that are hanging from our bending gutters all the way to the ground feel like my melting expectations of the holidays.

Missed connections, a harsh comment instead of kindness, silence instead of communication, judgment instead of compassion, anxiety instead of security, I watched and I waited and as I put away the Christmas ornaments this year I couldn't seem to shake the lingering disappointment and sadness. It was not the kind of disappointment I had when I was kid, the let down after all the excitement and fun, it was of a different kind. I have been thinking about the word 'disappointments' which the dictionary defines as an emotional reaction to unmet expectations.

The definition reminded me of a quote by Father Richard Rohr I heard over twenty years ago. It went something along these lines, "Americans are the only ones who expect constant and instant happiness. We are the richest and most powerful country in the world and Americans expect life to make them happy all the time. They are let down by the smallest of difficulties. While in third world countries where survival for the basic necessities of life; food, water, shelter, safety leaves people happy when their most basic needs are met." I am certainly one of those who have been richly blessed all of my life in that I do not go hungry or homeless and I do not live under a political regime. I was born in a country where I have lived my life with the privilege of great freedoms.

I asked myself, I asked God what my disappointment was about? Certainly I have much to be grateful for. All of my most basic needs are more than met, yet on an emotional level we all struggle for the basic necessities of knowing we are loved, knowing we matter, being heard, having dreams and hope, knowing our life has meaning.

I married into a large family with communication so vastly different than my family of origin that the comparison of California's seventy degrees and Ohio's three feet of snow probably is a pretty good analogy. The landscape of two vastly different terrains of family have challenged me in unexpected ways. This Christmas I visited with many nieces and nephews--most of them now young adults. I watch their struggles as they each attempt to carve out their way in the world. Church, prayer, faith are not a part of their world, but a daily part of my prayers for all fifteen of them. Like all families, there are difficulties and heartaches. Yet with the blessings of good health, education and youth I had expected less heartache, more joy. I floundered with disppointment.

I expected to connect better, but felt rendered mute. I expected to celebrate, but was left grieving. I expected to be better than I was, but saw clearly my own inadequacies. I expected to energetically engage in the festivities, yet I was tired. And dare I say it, I expected God to shine His beauty, His strength, His power, boldly and brilliantly at Christmas time. Where was God's wisdom, brilliance and beauty in my family, in my community, in the world? Where was He hiding this Christmas?

Then I went to Midnight Mass. At the front of the church there was a lowly manager with the Christ child, reminding me again of the way in which God had come into this world. In every way I am sure He was disppointed with the lot of humanity and the welcome He received. He came humbly, quietly, in silent vulnerability.

Late last night, unable to sleep I read a chapter in Ronald Rolheiser's book, "A Holy Longing". In a page that seemed to be written for me, speaking directly to all the disappointment of Christmas and the disappointments of life for each of us the words rang out in beautiful peals of truth and presence. I closed the book and wept. I did not weep with disappointment, but with gratitude. God's beauty is shining out in the impossible circumstances of each of our lives. It is these very moments that Christ is born again in each of our hearts....

"God's power does not overpower anyone or anything. It lies muted, at the deep moral and spiritual base of things. It does not overpower with muscle, or attractiveness, or brilliance, or grace, as does the speed and muscle of an Olympic athlete, the physical beauty of a young film star, or the gifted speech or rhetoric of the brilliant orator or author. These latter things--muscle, swiftness, beauty, brilliance, grace--reflect God's glory, but they are not the primary way God shows power in this world. God's power in the world has a very different look and a very different feel to it.

What does God's power look like? How does it feel to feel as God in this world?

If you have ever been overpowered physically and been helpless in that, if you have ever been hit or slapped by someone and been powerless to defend yourself or fight back, then you felt how God feels in this world. If you have ever dreamed a dream and found that every effort you made was hopeless and that your dream could never be realized, if you have cried tears and felt shame at your own inadequacy, then you have felt how God feels in this world.

If you have ever been shamed in your enthusiasm and not given a chance to explain yourself, if you have ever been cursed for your goodness by people who misunderstood you and were powerless to make them see things in your way, then you have felt how God feels in this world.

If you have ever tied to make yourself attractive to someone and were incapable of it, if you have ever loved someone and wanted desperately to somehow make him or her notice you and found yourself hopelessly unable to do so, then you have felt how God feels in this world.

If you have ever felt yourself aging and losing both the health and tautness of a young body and the opportunities that come with that and been powerless to turn back the clock, if you have ever felt the world slipping away from you as you grow older and ever more marginalized, then you have felt how God feels in this world. ..

God never overpowers. God's power in this world is never the power of a muscle, speed, a physical attractiveness, a billiance, or a grace which blows you away and make you shout; "Yes! Yes! There is a God." The world's power tries to work that way. God's power though is more muted, more helpless, more shamed, and more marginalized. But it lies at a deeper level, at the ultimate base of things, and will, in the end, gently have the final say."*

Yes God will gently and powerfully have the final say in His muted, brilliant, gentle power and beauty.

*Rolheiser, Ronald. The Holy Longing: The Serach for A Christian Spirituality (Doubleday, 1999), p. 186-7.