Facing Forgiveness was jointly authored by Brother Loughlan Sofield, ST,

Sister Carroll Juliano, SHCJ, and Bishop Gregory M. Aymond

www.avemariapress.com

Basic to our human nature is our call to forgiveness.  This common thread finds us at times seeking forgiveness, yet at other times, being asked by another to forgive them.  Authors, Brother Loughlan Sofield, Sister Carroll Juliano, and Bishop Gregory M. Aymond each minister as pastoral counselors leading workshops and retreats that focus on forgiveness.  Their collective wisdom, gleaned from many years of experience, is evident in Facing Forgiveness.

To begin with, a few brief pages introduce the witness of twenty-five true stories.  Before retelling the narratives, which each demonstrates a different aspect of forgiveness, the authors explain that forgiveness is a choice—often, one made repeatedly.  Forgiveness is a gift that we give ourselves; in letting go, we are freed.  In holding on, we choose, instead, to inflict upon ourselves more pain.  We are also reminded how important prayer is in the healing process.       

Each story offers the reader many opportunities to see his/her own hurt through another’s experience.  Some of the faces of forgiveness mirror guilt, shame, or low self-esteem, while others may resemble anger, bitterness, or revenge.  Still other stories leave us with questions as these:  Are we crippled by fear, confusing forgiving another with condoning their actions?  Have we confused our inability to forgive ourselves with God’s unending and bountiful mercy?  Are we able to distinguish between forgiveness and justice?  Can we indulge in hopeful thoughts for the future or are we held hostage by a hurtful past?  If we are angry at God, have we told Him?  Do we know what our attitude towards forgiveness is?  Are we replaying negative images that do not speak of the whole of someone?   By prayerfully examining the narratives, we soon begin to recognize our personal hurts in another’s.  This recognition of how our lack of forgiveness looks and acts in our own lives creates the first step to healing. 

The authors offer this example from a research study conducted at The University of Wisconsin.  The university’s study on forgiveness included women who had been sexually abused as children.  The researchers found the women misinterpreted forgiveness to mean a need to face their perpetrators, whom may still be dangerous.  The researchers explained that “forgiveness is an act of the will, a choice, a movement of the heart, and there is no obligation to communicate this” (52).  Once the women were freed of the agony of confronting their abusers, they were then able to choose forgiveness for themselves and embrace peace.

Finally, Facing Forgiveness ends very appropriately with an overview devoted to the sacrament of reconciliation.  Whether we have wronged another or another has wronged us, God’s grace, through prayer, leads us to be healed.  Through the sacrament of God’s mercy, we are invited to share in this healing gift of peace and forgiveness.  In the past when the sacrament was referred to as confession, the emphasis was on us, those confessing sins.  However, referring to the sacrament as reconciliation places significance, not on the penitent, but on our all-merciful God, who reconciles our hurts and/or forgives our faults.  We are granted the natural peace humankind longs for—the reconciliation to love and be loved.  The priest, speaking as a servant of God, acknowledges this gift of freedom, pardon, and peace when he proclaims, “The Lord has freed you from your sins.  Go in peace” (123).